Snappy Things To Say To Co-Workers

• Obviously you're unable to assimilate my stimulating concepts into your blighted and retarded world-view.
• I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
• Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
• I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.
• I like you. You remind me of me when I was young and stupid.
• What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
• I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
• I'll give you a nice, shiny quarter if you'll go away.
• I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
• I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
• It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
• Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
• How about never? Is never good for you?
• I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
• You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication
• You're just jealous because the little voices talk to ME.
• I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
• I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
• I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
• Who me? I just wander from room to room.